Wanna be Scrapbooker

I want to be a scrapbooker. I try, without success, to keep up with all these wonderful pictures I take. I love the finished product, but I never can truly enjoy the process. This whole guilt thing comes into play. If I am working on my pages, I feel like I should be cleaning the house, playing with the kids. Here I am taking time away from them to make these memory books. And will they really care? If I am not working on my pages, I am frustrated that I am not being a good mom and keeping up with their history. OH! The guilt is too much!

God has given us this time of re-evaluation. We've redefined what is important, what is worth our time and energy. As I looked at my photos there was so much more to the story than a cute title, the right color paper and the date. I've seen albums with just the most beautiful journalling. THE REAL STORY. I'm not much of a story teller or writer, but I want my kids to hear my voice, understand the emotions behind something as simple as a day at the zoo. Now, there is NEVER a "simple" day at the zoo, a family trip, or even going out to eat together. I am acutely aware of the blessing when we are all together.

For over a year, I felt as though I was going through the motions of life. Maybe from sleep deprivation, maybe emotional overload? Whatever it was, I was in a fog. I was grateful, I was joyful, but my heart was (and sometimes still is) in turmoil. I'm finally feeling present. I'm feeling purposeful in my activities. I am able to sit and listen to my kids. I can be present with a friend and not consumed with my own struggles. I'm ready to learn how to journal for my scrapbooks.

I love to read, so went on line and found some interesting books on journaling and scrapbooking in preparation for another (am I lucky, or what?) scrapbook retreat. When the package arrived last night I was SO excited! Eric was going out for the evening with a friend. After baths, reading a few princess books, and "mad, sad, glad", I prayed for the girls and ran out to the couch. Blanket, book, pen and paper I dove into "The Big Picture" by Stacy Julian (from simple scrapbooks). I heard her speak 4 plus years ago at a scrapbooking conference (I'm telling you, I'm into this hobby!). You should see my scrapbook cabinet! About midnight I put the book down with a new resolve... I'm not sure how I to break out of my chronological books, but I am ready to try! I'm thinking I will fill in the gaps in the books I have already started so they are complete? I'm too tired to even figure out my plan, but I am excited.

Our sweet boy is still pretty sick and he decided to get up early. Bekah heard him crying and came into his room to find the lovely surprise we found as we entered - his diaper was un- snapped on one side. Add that to the explosive diarrhea and you have one heck of a mess. We told the kids what a mess he's been making. Bekah said, "I see what you mean!" After tag teaming the clean up, Joshua is still up and therefore I can't sleep.

Did I mention I LOVE to sleep? But I loved rocking my boy and singing him a few songs. He's now happily watching a movie. And the house is quiet. Maybe mornings aren't so bad? It's like I am on borrowed time. No guilt about what I am doing, I'd be asleep normally!