Tonight I afforded myself a treat I have not taken since we moved into our new house.
This weekend a family from our Sunday school class came over. We had a great time and the kids were off playing. We were excited to share our plans of fitting more children into our home. I showed her the packed “study” and all my big dreams for the house and rearranging. Somehow we ended up in our “master” bathroom (I’m using that word rather loosely). I was laughing at how small it is and odd that you walk through our closet to get to the bathroom – it is the running joke each evening as Eric and I bump past each other trying to use the same sink. We find it comical. When she saw the bathroom she said, “I guess I never really thought about what all you guys gave up moving here.”
Oh yes, my wonderful bathroom at the old house we built. I probably took this sweet friend on a similar tour in our old house. The crescendo of the tour was always the bathroom for me – nothing all that special, but for me, it was heaven - a separate shower, a corner tub, two sinks with a RAISED countertop (very nice when you are 6’ and 6’ 3”), and even a door leading to the toilet! (See it doesn’t take much to impress me!)
We have never had a “wonderful bathroom” prior to building our last home and I REALLY wanted it to have a nice bathtub (yes, I even tried it out with my clothes on before we purchased the tub). We’ve had nice houses, but always old small bathtubs. My one way to slow down (prior to Joshua) was to sleep or be in the bathtub. I am 100+ miles an hour or fast asleep. My nightly baths at the last house were wonderful. I stayed current on my reading, felt at peace with life, processed the day, and slept better after my sometimes hour long baths.
Well, cramming my 6 foot body into a little tub with mildew sliding doors leaves a little to be desired. Did I mention I have to use a drain stop to keep the water from escaping? So, needless to say, I still love my bath time enough to get in and relax a little every so often, but I’m quick to get out and get ready for bed. Well, tonight I went in, took my monthly Focus on the Family and read it cover to cover…. AHHHH!
Now I can go to bed! :0)
Hope you get some relaxing time too!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Adopting
Eric and I have always wanted a big family. From the beginning of our marriage we knew it might be hard for us to have biological children because of my health issues. Eric and I had faith (Eric more often than me) and we prayed about how we would proceed. After three biological children with the help of our wonderful doctor, “Our Plan” involved having one more biological child and then adopting two more. We wanted to adopt children that would be difficult to find forever homes. Well, through a very difficult grieving process for me and VERY clear direction from the Lord, we do not feel having a biological child is the direction that God has in store for us.
As we handed over “Our Plan”, God has given us back “HIS Plan”. It has a few ‘holes’ and areas we can’t read the fine print, but we still need to move forward with what He has called us to do. And we feel it is a Calling. We are in the process of being licensed to adopt through CPS. This is a long process, involving classes, applications, forms, questionnaires, home studies, etc. We still have some “homework” to do, including emptying a room and buying furniture. It is very exciting and overwhelming all at the same time! I kept thinking we needed to wait until we could afford a bigger house. And then it hit me that we can do this with what God has given us RIGHT now. If He is calling us to this road, than He will make a way. We have a WHOLE room we are using as a study/craft room. We are clearing a bunch of stuff we don’t need to keep and preparing a room for what is MUCH more important to us – children!
We have no idea how long before we will have foster children, but we want to be ready when God asks us to step up. Part of my willingness to move forward now has been how well Joshua has handled the last few sicknesses without being hospitalized.
We are open to many scenarios. This is what we are thinking at this point: (1) A sibling group (more than 2 children are harder to place). We can only have 2 children per room (sp footage requirements by the state), so we are “allowed” to have up to 3 foster children. (2) The girls want to maintain their birth order, so all 3 children would need to be younger than Rebekah (she’s 5 now, but will probably be 6, or older, by the time we actually are adopting). (3) We need either one boy and two girls or three boys – to keep an even boy/ girl ratio for room assignments (that makes it sound like a dorm assignment). (4) we are not specifying race or ethnicity. There are many more minority children in foster care and more Caucasian families licensed to adopt (based on what they have told us in our training classes). I grew up in a “transracial family” – I don’t think of us that way, but that was a term used by the classes. If there is a need for a child to be placed, we want to be there to fill it – no matter what their skin color!
So, please be praying for us. Specifically, (1) that we can get our house set up to accommodate 6 little rugrats. (2) Also, for our kids. They are SO excited, but we also are trying to give them a realistic picture – more work/responsibility, possibility children would live with us and then go back to their birth family, less likely they could stay in private school, etc… (3) Clear direction and wisdom for us, but more importantly for Eric. He is ultimately responsible for the decisions our family makes. (4) For Joshua to be healthy so we can physically, emotionally, and spiritually handle the normal stresses of life plus the additional stresses of fostering to adopt.
We are working with “Homes 4 Good”. We have friends who have adopted through them and we are excited to follow in their footsteps!
Did you know there are 6,000 children that are adoptable living in foster care in Texas? Maybe our story will fan a flame that has been on your heart?
Thanks for following our journey and praying for us!
As we handed over “Our Plan”, God has given us back “HIS Plan”. It has a few ‘holes’ and areas we can’t read the fine print, but we still need to move forward with what He has called us to do. And we feel it is a Calling. We are in the process of being licensed to adopt through CPS. This is a long process, involving classes, applications, forms, questionnaires, home studies, etc. We still have some “homework” to do, including emptying a room and buying furniture. It is very exciting and overwhelming all at the same time! I kept thinking we needed to wait until we could afford a bigger house. And then it hit me that we can do this with what God has given us RIGHT now. If He is calling us to this road, than He will make a way. We have a WHOLE room we are using as a study/craft room. We are clearing a bunch of stuff we don’t need to keep and preparing a room for what is MUCH more important to us – children!
We have no idea how long before we will have foster children, but we want to be ready when God asks us to step up. Part of my willingness to move forward now has been how well Joshua has handled the last few sicknesses without being hospitalized.
We are open to many scenarios. This is what we are thinking at this point: (1) A sibling group (more than 2 children are harder to place). We can only have 2 children per room (sp footage requirements by the state), so we are “allowed” to have up to 3 foster children. (2) The girls want to maintain their birth order, so all 3 children would need to be younger than Rebekah (she’s 5 now, but will probably be 6, or older, by the time we actually are adopting). (3) We need either one boy and two girls or three boys – to keep an even boy/ girl ratio for room assignments (that makes it sound like a dorm assignment). (4) we are not specifying race or ethnicity. There are many more minority children in foster care and more Caucasian families licensed to adopt (based on what they have told us in our training classes). I grew up in a “transracial family” – I don’t think of us that way, but that was a term used by the classes. If there is a need for a child to be placed, we want to be there to fill it – no matter what their skin color!
So, please be praying for us. Specifically, (1) that we can get our house set up to accommodate 6 little rugrats. (2) Also, for our kids. They are SO excited, but we also are trying to give them a realistic picture – more work/responsibility, possibility children would live with us and then go back to their birth family, less likely they could stay in private school, etc… (3) Clear direction and wisdom for us, but more importantly for Eric. He is ultimately responsible for the decisions our family makes. (4) For Joshua to be healthy so we can physically, emotionally, and spiritually handle the normal stresses of life plus the additional stresses of fostering to adopt.
We are working with “Homes 4 Good”. We have friends who have adopted through them and we are excited to follow in their footsteps!
Did you know there are 6,000 children that are adoptable living in foster care in Texas? Maybe our story will fan a flame that has been on your heart?
Thanks for following our journey and praying for us!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Emergency Room Visits
Okay, if you have kids chances are you have landed yourself in the Emergency Room. Before Joshua it was a "rare" event.
I vividly remember the first time we made the scary trip to the ER. Elizabeth was sitting in our study playing on the floor with some pretty rocks. She must have been less than 20 months (I was still pregnant). I looked over and she was choking! I couldn't see the rock and assumed that was in her mouth. I put her in the car and off we went. They took her into x-ray and I stayed in the hallway. The doctor finally came into the room and said that she had indeed swallowed something - but it was TWO SCREWS. She had picked up the small little screws from the computer and down they went! I didn't like what the doc said next - you guessed it! - I had to "retreive them" from the other end to make sure they passed through. Lovely! Let's see Elizabeth also managed to put scissors in her eye, but luckily it scratched the top part of her lid, not the eyeball. And our most recent Elizabeth ER trip was in Des Moines for staph! Whew!
Joshua's are always breathing related. I don't even know what he is up to now - 10 or more I'd say. Twice by ambulance. I actually know some of the staff now in the ER at TCH. That is never a good thing!
Bekah has been a little more mild. Her first and only ER run was for "nurse maid elbow". That has been the only time we walked in, they fixed the problem, and we walked out! Once they popped it back into place she was a "new little girl".
SO, what are your ER experiences?? I'm sure we have some stories out there! I shouldn't have said "funny".... I meant "interesting" or "hair raising" stories.
Blessings, Olivia
I vividly remember the first time we made the scary trip to the ER. Elizabeth was sitting in our study playing on the floor with some pretty rocks. She must have been less than 20 months (I was still pregnant). I looked over and she was choking! I couldn't see the rock and assumed that was in her mouth. I put her in the car and off we went. They took her into x-ray and I stayed in the hallway. The doctor finally came into the room and said that she had indeed swallowed something - but it was TWO SCREWS. She had picked up the small little screws from the computer and down they went! I didn't like what the doc said next - you guessed it! - I had to "retreive them" from the other end to make sure they passed through. Lovely! Let's see Elizabeth also managed to put scissors in her eye, but luckily it scratched the top part of her lid, not the eyeball. And our most recent Elizabeth ER trip was in Des Moines for staph! Whew!
Joshua's are always breathing related. I don't even know what he is up to now - 10 or more I'd say. Twice by ambulance. I actually know some of the staff now in the ER at TCH. That is never a good thing!
Bekah has been a little more mild. Her first and only ER run was for "nurse maid elbow". That has been the only time we walked in, they fixed the problem, and we walked out! Once they popped it back into place she was a "new little girl".
SO, what are your ER experiences?? I'm sure we have some stories out there! I shouldn't have said "funny".... I meant "interesting" or "hair raising" stories.
Blessings, Olivia
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wanna be Scrapbooker
I want to be a scrapbooker. I try, without success, to keep up with all these wonderful pictures I take. I love the finished product, but I never can truly enjoy the process. This whole guilt thing comes into play. If I am working on my pages, I feel like I should be cleaning the house, playing with the kids. Here I am taking time away from them to make these memory books. And will they really care? If I am not working on my pages, I am frustrated that I am not being a good mom and keeping up with their history. OH! The guilt is too much!
God has given us this time of re-evaluation. We've redefined what is important, what is worth our time and energy. As I looked at my photos there was so much more to the story than a cute title, the right color paper and the date. I've seen albums with just the most beautiful journalling. THE REAL STORY. I'm not much of a story teller or writer, but I want my kids to hear my voice, understand the emotions behind something as simple as a day at the zoo. Now, there is NEVER a "simple" day at the zoo, a family trip, or even going out to eat together. I am acutely aware of the blessing when we are all together.
For over a year, I felt as though I was going through the motions of life. Maybe from sleep deprivation, maybe emotional overload? Whatever it was, I was in a fog. I was grateful, I was joyful, but my heart was (and sometimes still is) in turmoil. I'm finally feeling present. I'm feeling purposeful in my activities. I am able to sit and listen to my kids. I can be present with a friend and not consumed with my own struggles. I'm ready to learn how to journal for my scrapbooks.
I love to read, so went on line and found some interesting books on journaling and scrapbooking in preparation for another (am I lucky, or what?) scrapbook retreat. When the package arrived last night I was SO excited! Eric was going out for the evening with a friend. After baths, reading a few princess books, and "mad, sad, glad", I prayed for the girls and ran out to the couch. Blanket, book, pen and paper I dove into "The Big Picture" by Stacy Julian (from simple scrapbooks). I hea
rd her speak 4 plus years ago at a scrapbooking conference (I'm telling you, I'm into this hobby!). You should see my scrapbook cabinet! 
About midnight I put the book down with a new resolve... I'm not sure how I to break out of my chronological books, but I am ready to try! I'm thinking I will fill in the gaps in the books I have already started so they are complete? I'm too tired to even figure out my plan, but I am excited.
Our sweet boy is still pretty sick and he decided to get up early. Bekah heard him crying and came into his room to find the lovely surprise we found as we entered - his diaper was un- snapped on one side. Add that to the explosive diarrhea and you have one heck of a mess. We told the kids what a mess he's been making. Bekah said, "I see what you mean!" After tag teaming the clean up, Joshua is still up and therefore I can't sleep.
Did I mention I LOVE to sleep? But I loved rocking my boy and singing him a few songs. He's now happily watching a movie. And the house is quiet. Maybe mornings aren't so bad? It's like I am on borrowed time. No guilt about what I am doing, I'd be asleep normally!
God has given us this time of re-evaluation. We've redefined what is important, what is worth our time and energy. As I looked at my photos there was so much more to the story than a cute title, the right color paper and the date. I've seen albums with just the most beautiful journalling. THE REAL STORY. I'm not much of a story teller or writer, but I want my kids to hear my voice, understand the emotions behind something as simple as a day at the zoo. Now, there is NEVER a "simple" day at the zoo, a family trip, or even going out to eat together. I am acutely aware of the blessing when we are all together.
For over a year, I felt as though I was going through the motions of life. Maybe from sleep deprivation, maybe emotional overload? Whatever it was, I was in a fog. I was grateful, I was joyful, but my heart was (and sometimes still is) in turmoil. I'm finally feeling present. I'm feeling purposeful in my activities. I am able to sit and listen to my kids. I can be present with a friend and not consumed with my own struggles. I'm ready to learn how to journal for my scrapbooks.
I love to read, so went on line and found some interesting books on journaling and scrapbooking in preparation for another (am I lucky, or what?) scrapbook retreat. When the package arrived last night I was SO excited! Eric was going out for the evening with a friend. After baths, reading a few princess books, and "mad, sad, glad", I prayed for the girls and ran out to the couch. Blanket, book, pen and paper I dove into "The Big Picture" by Stacy Julian (from simple scrapbooks). I hea
rd her speak 4 plus years ago at a scrapbooking conference (I'm telling you, I'm into this hobby!). You should see my scrapbook cabinet! 
About midnight I put the book down with a new resolve... I'm not sure how I to break out of my chronological books, but I am ready to try! I'm thinking I will fill in the gaps in the books I have already started so they are complete? I'm too tired to even figure out my plan, but I am excited.Our sweet boy is still pretty sick and he decided to get up early. Bekah heard him crying and came into his room to find the lovely surprise we found as we entered - his diaper was un- snapped on one side. Add that to the explosive diarrhea and you have one heck of a mess. We told the kids what a mess he's been making. Bekah said, "I see what you mean!" After tag teaming the clean up, Joshua is still up and therefore I can't sleep.
Did I mention I LOVE to sleep? But I loved rocking my boy and singing him a few songs. He's now happily watching a movie. And the house is quiet. Maybe mornings aren't so bad? It's like I am on borrowed time. No guilt about what I am doing, I'd be asleep normally!
Monday, July 7, 2008
The Simpler Life
The simpler life. I like the sound of it – a simpler life – but can I really do it? Can I truly understand and live the life Keri Kent describes in her book “Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life”?
God has stripped away all the “extras” out of our life. I don’t mean just our house, our bank accounts, the extra rooms of furniture we once had. He has taken away our freedom to overfill our life, He’s turned our schedule over to Him, our control, our security and dependence on ourselves, etc. There has been nothing but survival for two and half years. I thought we were doing okay with scheduling pre Joshua. I like busy. When I am awake, I am on the go. Then I sleep (and for a long time, if allowed – rarely happens anymore, sigh.) Being in crisis mode takes away all the “non-important” (non-essential things).
The first few chapters of the book just made me angry. We don’t have the kids in three activities each, working crazy jobs, juggling car pools and volunteering at five places… we are SURVIVING. Barely making it to the grocery store – and only because one of my parents came over so I can run to the store. My days are filled with doctor appointments, therapy, driving the girls to school (most days late), filling feeding bags, going through hospital bills, scheduling more appointments, researching diagnosis, … SURVIVING. I felt like the people described in the book had decided to take on all the activities and were not making their relationship with God a priority. Okay, so I ‘m just going to sit and read my quiet time while Joshua turns blue and needs suctioning?? Of course that was not what the book was saying, it was about heart issues as well. Am I going to try to keep up with the Jones’ or carry the yoke that God has given me? It was about WHY we chose to over schedule our lives. Why we feel the need to have so many activities and be busy.
I like my house being picked up. It doesn’t have to be spotless clean, but definitely no dirty dishes (smelly!). I hate my car being a dropping ground for the kids’ things. I need some order in my life – for my sanity! I’m not trying to impress someone else or “just in case” someone comes by. Evaluating motives helps to determine if something should be a priority. When life is spinning out of control, I believe, it is okay to have certain areas to maintain some sanity and peace.
As Joshua’s sicknesses are more manageable, I decided to sign the girls up for swim team. I know, I know, what was I thinking? It stressed me out so much being required to be somewhere at a certain time, hours waiting for a heat, the crowds of people, etc. We weren’t ready for that yet, maybe never. More than twice I stressed over getting the girls to the pool instead of just enjoying the time at the doctors’ office. Our life is still a little unpredictable. I need to “breathe” – to be okay with the girls not being involved in certain activities and knowing that we have been called to a different road.
I enjoy my time in the morning reading my quiet time before the kids are up. Keri Kent quoted Thoreau – he said, “Your priorities are what you do.” I have always said having a quiet time was a priority, but I never set my alarm clock the night before. Not much of a priority I placed, eh?
Elizabeth was on a basketball team and one of the mom’s had quadruplets (or was it triplets?), any how, she said that each day she asks herself if she really listened to each of her children that day. Not just talked while she cooked dinner, barking orders, but really stopped, looked into their eyes and listened. There will always be dishes to be done. When I choose to wait until later and put my kids (or hubby) first I know my priorities are shining through.
I want to breathe and breathe deeply. I love the stories about people doing “good things” (church activities, etc.) and being overloaded. In my college days, I lead Disciple Now weekends. One of the quotes I picked up was “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” That always stuck with me as I frantically ran around doing all my “good things”.
I still have more to read, but so far, God has convicted me. It has helped me analyze my priorities and the motives behind those priorities. I’ve also found I am even reading slower, digesting it, letting it sink into my heart. I am a work in progress! Thank goodness God isn’t done with me yet!
(If anyone in Houston is interested, I have an extra copy – sweet Eric bought me one from our church bookstore not knowing I had already ordered one.)
God has stripped away all the “extras” out of our life. I don’t mean just our house, our bank accounts, the extra rooms of furniture we once had. He has taken away our freedom to overfill our life, He’s turned our schedule over to Him, our control, our security and dependence on ourselves, etc. There has been nothing but survival for two and half years. I thought we were doing okay with scheduling pre Joshua. I like busy. When I am awake, I am on the go. Then I sleep (and for a long time, if allowed – rarely happens anymore, sigh.) Being in crisis mode takes away all the “non-important” (non-essential things).
The first few chapters of the book just made me angry. We don’t have the kids in three activities each, working crazy jobs, juggling car pools and volunteering at five places… we are SURVIVING. Barely making it to the grocery store – and only because one of my parents came over so I can run to the store. My days are filled with doctor appointments, therapy, driving the girls to school (most days late), filling feeding bags, going through hospital bills, scheduling more appointments, researching diagnosis, … SURVIVING. I felt like the people described in the book had decided to take on all the activities and were not making their relationship with God a priority. Okay, so I ‘m just going to sit and read my quiet time while Joshua turns blue and needs suctioning?? Of course that was not what the book was saying, it was about heart issues as well. Am I going to try to keep up with the Jones’ or carry the yoke that God has given me? It was about WHY we chose to over schedule our lives. Why we feel the need to have so many activities and be busy.
I like my house being picked up. It doesn’t have to be spotless clean, but definitely no dirty dishes (smelly!). I hate my car being a dropping ground for the kids’ things. I need some order in my life – for my sanity! I’m not trying to impress someone else or “just in case” someone comes by. Evaluating motives helps to determine if something should be a priority. When life is spinning out of control, I believe, it is okay to have certain areas to maintain some sanity and peace.
As Joshua’s sicknesses are more manageable, I decided to sign the girls up for swim team. I know, I know, what was I thinking? It stressed me out so much being required to be somewhere at a certain time, hours waiting for a heat, the crowds of people, etc. We weren’t ready for that yet, maybe never. More than twice I stressed over getting the girls to the pool instead of just enjoying the time at the doctors’ office. Our life is still a little unpredictable. I need to “breathe” – to be okay with the girls not being involved in certain activities and knowing that we have been called to a different road.
I enjoy my time in the morning reading my quiet time before the kids are up. Keri Kent quoted Thoreau – he said, “Your priorities are what you do.” I have always said having a quiet time was a priority, but I never set my alarm clock the night before. Not much of a priority I placed, eh?
Elizabeth was on a basketball team and one of the mom’s had quadruplets (or was it triplets?), any how, she said that each day she asks herself if she really listened to each of her children that day. Not just talked while she cooked dinner, barking orders, but really stopped, looked into their eyes and listened. There will always be dishes to be done. When I choose to wait until later and put my kids (or hubby) first I know my priorities are shining through.
I want to breathe and breathe deeply. I love the stories about people doing “good things” (church activities, etc.) and being overloaded. In my college days, I lead Disciple Now weekends. One of the quotes I picked up was “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” That always stuck with me as I frantically ran around doing all my “good things”.
I still have more to read, but so far, God has convicted me. It has helped me analyze my priorities and the motives behind those priorities. I’ve also found I am even reading slower, digesting it, letting it sink into my heart. I am a work in progress! Thank goodness God isn’t done with me yet!
(If anyone in Houston is interested, I have an extra copy – sweet Eric bought me one from our church bookstore not knowing I had already ordered one.)
Saturday, July 5, 2008
To blog or not to blog...
To be or not to be a blogger.
"Everyone is doing it." - that logic never works on me. But just maybe there is a reason "everyone is doing it".
I am debating switching from carepage updates and starting a blog about our family life. It is a difficult decision. Carepages has been my therapy, my way to update about Joshua's medical journey and the challenges we have faced over the past two and half years. It has given me a connection to the "outside world" while we were many times not allowed out. Carepages hold our history - the joys, the struggles, each hospital stay, each test result, every new accomplishment, pictures, poems, heartfelt prayers, etc.
But our future is hopefully going away from daily medical struggles to "normal" (if there is such a thing) struggles. We move forward with a single focus in mind. I want to SHINE my light. In Matthew 5:16 it says, "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." NIV This verse has been one of many that have motivated my life. Given me purpose and direction. It has given me hope during dark days when I wanted to give up. It is something I can do: I can SHINE! Not on my own power. Luckily, the light in me is Jesus Christ! He shines brightly. I just have to allow the light to escape, or let it out, so to speak.
I have always wanted God to use me to share with others. I didn't know He would take me down a difficult road to learn some tough lessons. I'll see how this blogging thing feels for a while. In the meantime, I will still update on Joshua's carepage (www.carepages.com, carepage name: "JoshuaGrantOber" no spaces, case sensitive).
Let's see, I guess the next step is to figure out how to design this page. Hummmm.....
Shining, Olivia
"Everyone is doing it." - that logic never works on me. But just maybe there is a reason "everyone is doing it".
I am debating switching from carepage updates and starting a blog about our family life. It is a difficult decision. Carepages has been my therapy, my way to update about Joshua's medical journey and the challenges we have faced over the past two and half years. It has given me a connection to the "outside world" while we were many times not allowed out. Carepages hold our history - the joys, the struggles, each hospital stay, each test result, every new accomplishment, pictures, poems, heartfelt prayers, etc.
But our future is hopefully going away from daily medical struggles to "normal" (if there is such a thing) struggles. We move forward with a single focus in mind. I want to SHINE my light. In Matthew 5:16 it says, "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." NIV This verse has been one of many that have motivated my life. Given me purpose and direction. It has given me hope during dark days when I wanted to give up. It is something I can do: I can SHINE! Not on my own power. Luckily, the light in me is Jesus Christ! He shines brightly. I just have to allow the light to escape, or let it out, so to speak.
I have always wanted God to use me to share with others. I didn't know He would take me down a difficult road to learn some tough lessons. I'll see how this blogging thing feels for a while. In the meantime, I will still update on Joshua's carepage (www.carepages.com, carepage name: "JoshuaGrantOber" no spaces, case sensitive).
Let's see, I guess the next step is to figure out how to design this page. Hummmm.....
Shining, Olivia
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