Christmas Santas

11 years ago we were in town from Scotland celebrating Christmas with my family. Eric opened a present to find a collectible “Scottish Santa”. Seeing how we lived in Scotland, he thought it was neat and added it to our pile of loot.

The next year he opened another Santa and said, “Look Olivia, we have another Christmas Santa.” My mom quickly corrected him and said, “No Eric, those are for YOU.” My mom has a habit of buying a collection for someone, wrapping them YEARS in advance and then giving them each year for the next 15 years. As expected, Eric has received a Santa Collectable Doll each year. It has become one of the highlights of Christmas and it is not complete until he has opened his Santa.



The years have ranged from “praying Santa”, “Millennium Santa”, “Motorcycle Santa”, “Santa reading to a little girl” the year we had Elizabeth, and “gardening Santa” (Eric REALLY likes gardening – NOT!).

SO what Santa will this year bring?? Stay tuned!

Here are some of the things we do to show the “real” meaning of Christmas…

We have a birthday cake for Jesus. It is red velvet and we have made up symbolism to the red being Christ’s blood, the white frosting is the purity we have from our sin when we accept Him as our Lord, one year we decided there was plenty of Jesus to go around (there was LOTS of cake left over with all the other desserts!), etc. etc. Here are some old pictures of us singing Happy Birthday to Jesus…




We have a “caring tree”. We put up ornaments of the ways we “loved as Christ loved”. These are the “true presents” we give each other. The kids are good at coming up with things and find things to do for each other so they can put up an ornament. The first year we did it was 2004 as the kids were starting to understand being kind to each other. One of the ornaments from that year said “Elizabeth helped Bekah find her silky”. Another said, “Daddy took care of the girls for 12 days while mommy was on a mission trip to Africa”.

This year we are hanging them on an actual tree (previous years we used BIG paper and drew a tree and then added paper ornaments). The other day we went online and printed some Christmas symbols and Bekah cut them out and taped ribbon on to hang them. The tree is starting to fill up with REAL gifts!







We also make presents for each other, try to keep perspective on the amount we spend and the number of gifts to keep the focus off of what we are getting. I do love to give!

One of my favorite Christmas presents was Eric taking the girls for a photo shoot. Looks like they had fun and I LOVE the pictures! It captures them so well. Only problem was I got the email proofs before they even arrived home because my account was linked to our membership – whoops! I tried not to look, but I had to. What a sweet hubby!



My friend Kristen Young does something fun with her kids. They go look at Christmas lights in different neighborhoods and pick a winner for the night. They then present the house with a gift… Kristen explains it better. Kristen, chime in. I love the idea!

We read the Christmas story from the Bible (and other books too) and usually act it out – which so far has ended each year with arguing over who is doing what role and who is not doing their role right – maybe this year we will have fun doing it (nah, probably not!).

I just tucked my little guy in bed with his Cpap machine on - our first night at home with our settings. Please pray he will leave it on. We actually are only at 6. When they went to a 9 his central apnea actually got worse (cpap will not help with his central apneas). Dr. Robertson told me not to talk to the techs to get my info… I guess I should listen! Good thing I didn’t actually start using before meeting with Dr. Hopkins today! She does not feel his apnea is the cause of the pulmonary hypertension and subsequent issues in the heart. Not sure where that leaves us, but I have some questions for Dr. R on Friday. Granted we really won’t know much until another echo after trying the machine for a while.

I’m excited for school to be out and hang with my kids! Please pray we spend this holiday at home relaxing and having fun! Praying for your holiday to be fun too! Blessings! Love, Olivia

Joshua continues to improve and is doing wonderful! He is eating REAL food. Like cheerios, eggs, chicken, - REAL food!!! Not even pureed! I think he is starting to put on weight with the scandishakes, heavy cream, butter, etc.

We try to keep Christmas CHRIST focused. It is hard to keep the presents to a limit and not teach our children that it takes money and gifts to ‘make’ Christmas. It took a savior coming as a baby. How to keep that focus is still hard for me even though it is the forefront of my mind. I LOVE buying gifts, especially for those I know well and can find something that they would like.
Each year I still want to put up Christmas lights outside. Some years Eric obliges, but never enjoys it. He is the quintessential laid back phlegmatic, so he has no inside drive to accomplish this meaningless (in his mind) task! This year the kids even asked him (without my prompting). He has avoided the task and even those cute little faces won’t bring him to pull out the ladder and hang the lights (I think I heard him tell Bekah he might do it tomorrow??). Guilt trips do not work, begging is useless, but I have found negotiating is effective. This year I opted out of negotiating for this task, but made my real wish known.

Every year Eric and I make presents for each other. He receives a calendar with the previous year’s photos of the kids. I usually get a sculpture I’ve been eyeing all year. Last year he surprised me by learning how to make jewelry and MAKING me necklaces! Eric does not take hints well, so I had to really spell out my desire. For years I have given him an image of a nativity and asked for him to make me something for the front yard. This year I explained I wanted it as MY Christmas present and I wanted it BEFORE Christmas.

Guess what?? I got my steel nativity for the front yard!!! What a great Christmas present! I picked out the design and then Eric did the rest – he did his magic in autocad and presto chango – I have a nativity! I LOVE it!!

What do you think? Better than some lights on the house in my eyes. But I still do secretly want the lights too.



I’ve also taken a little vacation from housework and normal responsibilities. The result – Eric has been helping a TON! I think he might be afraid I have “lost it” (but really that happened long ago). I’m kind of liking the new “laid back” version… Eric says it won’t last long. He may hope it doesn’t last long! We even ran out of dishwasher soap – I NEVER leave dirty dishes around! Yuck!

Okay, so what do you do to keep the holidays from taking away from the true meaning?? I do love buying gifts, but I’m thinking next year they have a set amount of money and they get to pick it out exactly what they want… does that ruin the whole Christmas morning or does that make sure everyone is happy? My sister drew Eric’s name. He wanted a gift card to Best Buy. She doesn’t want to buy a gift card… hummm… but that is what he wants. Oh, the fun of shopping. HeeHee!

Okay, I need to pretend I am making an effort to pick up around here – we are having our Small Group Christmas Party here tomorrow! YIKES!

Love, Olivia

Oh - I also joined facebook... everyone at our sunday school class party was talking about it, so I had to join! Will you be my friend?? :0)

Another giveaway

http://www.designmom.com/uploaded_images/Picture-1-730516.png - humm... can't get it to post the picture...

Check out another link to a great give away at Design Mom's blog!!!! Ends Monday, so hurry over!

http://www.designmom.com/

WOW!! Hope I win one!! Love, Olivia

Awesome raffle

The end of the year is upon us and as we rush around to buy that perfect gift, many of us are also looking for the perfect place to donate. There are many wonderful organizations, churches, and causes out there!

As you know I am actively involved in It’s My Heart – a non-profit that supports and advocates for those affected by congenital heart defects. Many wonderful programs one of which includes comfort bags that are given to the parents while their child is in the operating room at hospitals around the nation. There are many children out there with more severe heart defects than Joshua and some go undetected even after birth! Joshua will have a team for their 3rd annual run/walk on February 21, 2009 in Houston. You will hear LOTS more about the event and ways to sign up and support Joshua’s team – by the way I still need a name for our team!!!!

Part of the difficulty in raising a special needs child is feeling alone and that no one understands. I can assure you I am glad most people do not and have not walked in our shoes, but there are many out there who have. The Arbor School, the internet, and IMH has allowed me to find other parents who are facing similar challenges and struggles. Somehow I ran across a really neat blog that is doing a REALLY cool raffle.

MckMama, as she calls herself, has set up a raffle for all of us to be able to help three wonderful causes. String of Pearls - No Hands but Ours - The Elison Project.
A $10 donation gets you a raffle ticket entered to win a GREAT prize – a CANON digital SLR and LOTS of other goodies! Check out her blog – www.mycharmingkids.net and enter to win.



I love the story of her son who was diagnosed with things I can’t even spell before being born and is now one month old and healthy! We serve an amazing God! So go spend some time being inspired by her story, laughing at her humor, read her amazing writing ability, and see her awesome pictures – and while you are at it – enter the contest for pete’s sake!

Joshua is almost off oxygen! Pray he stays completely off oxygen for his tests next week at TCH (Wednesday and Thursday).

Love, Olivia

My man

Many nights I lay in bed quite irritated that Eric was making his little clicking sound with his throat. I just can’t fall asleep with that non-rhythmic sound. As my irritation grows I know that I will miss that sound as I lay in bed alone in the days to come. The days turned to more than a week without Eric in town.

What is it about my man that I miss so much?

Someone to warm my cold feet in bed?
A friend to go bike riding with?
Breakfast handed to me at my computer while I read my quiet time? (I’m spoiled, I know!)
Someone to turn off Joshua’s feeding pump at 5am?

Yes, all those things are great,

But… what I really love about Eric is:

His laugh is so infectious that it sends me into giggles…
The mischievous look he has when he is trying to trick me…
The way he stays calm in all situations and can see the real issue…
He can make or fix just about anything…
Watching him interact and love on our kids…
Knowing he is in love with me, even the ugly not so nice parts…
His integrity...
His creative side...

But most of all…
His love for the Lord and his passion for men’s ministry…
Oh, did I mention he is drop dead gorgeous? …

Yeah, I’m missing my hubby tonight! :0(

Love, Olivia

School Time

The kids are back in school. I’m not too thrilled that they will be gone all day, schedules to keep up with, uniforms to clean, lunches to be made, etc. I hesitate to plan anything on my schedule knowing that at a moment it could all be wiped away. I’m not sure how long the feeling of fear will still plague my thoughts. Every time I write something on my Palm, I think to myself, “well maybe.” Two days of school and Joshua can’t go on Monday. He is sick again. I love being with him and taking care of him, but I feel guilty for wishing I could get some of my to-do list done. Shouldn’t my to-do list BE my kids?

I just haven’t figured out that balance with planning and not being disappointed. For two and a half years there has been no planning. The world has revolved around Joshua’s hospital stays, next surgery, sicknesses, doctors’ appointments. We managed to fit in a thing or two here and there, but more than anything Joshua called the shots. We didn’t plan much and we were okay with that.

Now, I need to adjust to this “new” normal. ANOTHER “new” normal. Joshua’s health is SO much better, HE is so much better. The last few weeks we have unplugged his oxygen monitors. But I still hold my breath every morning as I walk into his room until he makes a move or opens his eyes. His breathing use to be so loud and labored I could hear it in my room without monitors, now I wish I could tell if he was breathing. He’s just so beautiful. I love how friendly he is with new people. He just makes me smile. I am one of the luckiest mom’s in the world! Who could have thought that two amazing girls and one little boy could fill my heart with such love!

I have no idea where this is going. I know these are normal feelings. I know that God has been so faithful through each step of our journey, but I still struggle.

I posted some first day of school pictures on the carepages! Hope you got to see them!
Blessings, Olivia

Is it just life?

How many times have you heard, "Enjoy these years with your little ones. They will grow up before you know it."?

I feel the truth of this saying. I marvel at how quickly time is slipping by. I see my children's little personalities blossoming in front of our very eyes. I use to think, "yeah, yeah, I know." Today, now that I have really struggled and wrestled with what is important, I hope I am doing a better job. But am I? I'm taking the mental (and actual pictures) of life, but is that enough? Am I stopping to "smell the roses"? Will I look back with regret or will I look back with a full heart and be satisfied?

I love it when I can learn a lesson vicariously. Usually I have to walk through the fire myself to “get it”. SO... for those who have said the expression above – what would you do differently? Those who are trying to savor everyday, what does that mean to you?

The girls and I were cuddled into bed reading a "chapter" book (they feel so grown up now that we read "chapter books"). I just smelled in their clean hair. I let them talked me into just one more chapter. I kissed them goodnight and let them sleep in our bed (big mistake). I know it works for some people, but not my little beautiful munchkins. I was kicked repeatedly, woke to grinding teeth, and wished I had never let them stay. In my mind it is this beautiful thing. I wake up to a little precious face sleeping peacefully next to me… NOT THE CASE. Eric is off on deliveries and we are trying to enjoy the last weeks of summer.

I’d love your thoughts! Do you feel time sliding through your fingers?

Blessings!

Relaxin'

Tonight I afforded myself a treat I have not taken since we moved into our new house.

This weekend a family from our Sunday school class came over. We had a great time and the kids were off playing. We were excited to share our plans of fitting more children into our home. I showed her the packed “study” and all my big dreams for the house and rearranging. Somehow we ended up in our “master” bathroom (I’m using that word rather loosely). I was laughing at how small it is and odd that you walk through our closet to get to the bathroom – it is the running joke each evening as Eric and I bump past each other trying to use the same sink. We find it comical. When she saw the bathroom she said, “I guess I never really thought about what all you guys gave up moving here.”

Oh yes, my wonderful bathroom at the old house we built. I probably took this sweet friend on a similar tour in our old house. The crescendo of the tour was always the bathroom for me – nothing all that special, but for me, it was heaven - a separate shower, a corner tub, two sinks with a RAISED countertop (very nice when you are 6’ and 6’ 3”), and even a door leading to the toilet! (See it doesn’t take much to impress me!)

We have never had a “wonderful bathroom” prior to building our last home and I REALLY wanted it to have a nice bathtub (yes, I even tried it out with my clothes on before we purchased the tub). We’ve had nice houses, but always old small bathtubs. My one way to slow down (prior to Joshua) was to sleep or be in the bathtub. I am 100+ miles an hour or fast asleep. My nightly baths at the last house were wonderful. I stayed current on my reading, felt at peace with life, processed the day, and slept better after my sometimes hour long baths.

Well, cramming my 6 foot body into a little tub with mildew sliding doors leaves a little to be desired. Did I mention I have to use a drain stop to keep the water from escaping? So, needless to say, I still love my bath time enough to get in and relax a little every so often, but I’m quick to get out and get ready for bed. Well, tonight I went in, took my monthly Focus on the Family and read it cover to cover…. AHHHH!

Now I can go to bed! :0)
Hope you get some relaxing time too!

Adopting

Eric and I have always wanted a big family. From the beginning of our marriage we knew it might be hard for us to have biological children because of my health issues. Eric and I had faith (Eric more often than me) and we prayed about how we would proceed. After three biological children with the help of our wonderful doctor, “Our Plan” involved having one more biological child and then adopting two more. We wanted to adopt children that would be difficult to find forever homes. Well, through a very difficult grieving process for me and VERY clear direction from the Lord, we do not feel having a biological child is the direction that God has in store for us.

As we handed over “Our Plan”, God has given us back “HIS Plan”. It has a few ‘holes’ and areas we can’t read the fine print, but we still need to move forward with what He has called us to do. And we feel it is a Calling. We are in the process of being licensed to adopt through CPS. This is a long process, involving classes, applications, forms, questionnaires, home studies, etc. We still have some “homework” to do, including emptying a room and buying furniture. It is very exciting and overwhelming all at the same time! I kept thinking we needed to wait until we could afford a bigger house. And then it hit me that we can do this with what God has given us RIGHT now. If He is calling us to this road, than He will make a way. We have a WHOLE room we are using as a study/craft room. We are clearing a bunch of stuff we don’t need to keep and preparing a room for what is MUCH more important to us – children!

We have no idea how long before we will have foster children, but we want to be ready when God asks us to step up. Part of my willingness to move forward now has been how well Joshua has handled the last few sicknesses without being hospitalized.

We are open to many scenarios. This is what we are thinking at this point: (1) A sibling group (more than 2 children are harder to place). We can only have 2 children per room (sp footage requirements by the state), so we are “allowed” to have up to 3 foster children. (2) The girls want to maintain their birth order, so all 3 children would need to be younger than Rebekah (she’s 5 now, but will probably be 6, or older, by the time we actually are adopting). (3) We need either one boy and two girls or three boys – to keep an even boy/ girl ratio for room assignments (that makes it sound like a dorm assignment). (4) we are not specifying race or ethnicity. There are many more minority children in foster care and more Caucasian families licensed to adopt (based on what they have told us in our training classes). I grew up in a “transracial family” – I don’t think of us that way, but that was a term used by the classes. If there is a need for a child to be placed, we want to be there to fill it – no matter what their skin color!

So, please be praying for us. Specifically, (1) that we can get our house set up to accommodate 6 little rugrats. (2) Also, for our kids. They are SO excited, but we also are trying to give them a realistic picture – more work/responsibility, possibility children would live with us and then go back to their birth family, less likely they could stay in private school, etc… (3) Clear direction and wisdom for us, but more importantly for Eric. He is ultimately responsible for the decisions our family makes. (4) For Joshua to be healthy so we can physically, emotionally, and spiritually handle the normal stresses of life plus the additional stresses of fostering to adopt.

We are working with “Homes 4 Good”. We have friends who have adopted through them and we are excited to follow in their footsteps!

Did you know there are 6,000 children that are adoptable living in foster care in Texas? Maybe our story will fan a flame that has been on your heart?

Thanks for following our journey and praying for us!

Emergency Room Visits

Okay, if you have kids chances are you have landed yourself in the Emergency Room. Before Joshua it was a "rare" event.

I vividly remember the first time we made the scary trip to the ER. Elizabeth was sitting in our study playing on the floor with some pretty rocks. She must have been less than 20 months (I was still pregnant). I looked over and she was choking! I couldn't see the rock and assumed that was in her mouth. I put her in the car and off we went. They took her into x-ray and I stayed in the hallway. The doctor finally came into the room and said that she had indeed swallowed something - but it was TWO SCREWS. She had picked up the small little screws from the computer and down they went! I didn't like what the doc said next - you guessed it! - I had to "retreive them" from the other end to make sure they passed through. Lovely! Let's see Elizabeth also managed to put scissors in her eye, but luckily it scratched the top part of her lid, not the eyeball. And our most recent Elizabeth ER trip was in Des Moines for staph! Whew!

Joshua's are always breathing related. I don't even know what he is up to now - 10 or more I'd say. Twice by ambulance. I actually know some of the staff now in the ER at TCH. That is never a good thing!

Bekah has been a little more mild. Her first and only ER run was for "nurse maid elbow". That has been the only time we walked in, they fixed the problem, and we walked out! Once they popped it back into place she was a "new little girl".

SO, what are your ER experiences?? I'm sure we have some stories out there! I shouldn't have said "funny".... I meant "interesting" or "hair raising" stories.

Blessings, Olivia

Wanna be Scrapbooker

I want to be a scrapbooker. I try, without success, to keep up with all these wonderful pictures I take. I love the finished product, but I never can truly enjoy the process. This whole guilt thing comes into play. If I am working on my pages, I feel like I should be cleaning the house, playing with the kids. Here I am taking time away from them to make these memory books. And will they really care? If I am not working on my pages, I am frustrated that I am not being a good mom and keeping up with their history. OH! The guilt is too much!

God has given us this time of re-evaluation. We've redefined what is important, what is worth our time and energy. As I looked at my photos there was so much more to the story than a cute title, the right color paper and the date. I've seen albums with just the most beautiful journalling. THE REAL STORY. I'm not much of a story teller or writer, but I want my kids to hear my voice, understand the emotions behind something as simple as a day at the zoo. Now, there is NEVER a "simple" day at the zoo, a family trip, or even going out to eat together. I am acutely aware of the blessing when we are all together.

For over a year, I felt as though I was going through the motions of life. Maybe from sleep deprivation, maybe emotional overload? Whatever it was, I was in a fog. I was grateful, I was joyful, but my heart was (and sometimes still is) in turmoil. I'm finally feeling present. I'm feeling purposeful in my activities. I am able to sit and listen to my kids. I can be present with a friend and not consumed with my own struggles. I'm ready to learn how to journal for my scrapbooks.

I love to read, so went on line and found some interesting books on journaling and scrapbooking in preparation for another (am I lucky, or what?) scrapbook retreat. When the package arrived last night I was SO excited! Eric was going out for the evening with a friend. After baths, reading a few princess books, and "mad, sad, glad", I prayed for the girls and ran out to the couch. Blanket, book, pen and paper I dove into "The Big Picture" by Stacy Julian (from simple scrapbooks). I heard her speak 4 plus years ago at a scrapbooking conference (I'm telling you, I'm into this hobby!). You should see my scrapbook cabinet! About midnight I put the book down with a new resolve... I'm not sure how I to break out of my chronological books, but I am ready to try! I'm thinking I will fill in the gaps in the books I have already started so they are complete? I'm too tired to even figure out my plan, but I am excited.

Our sweet boy is still pretty sick and he decided to get up early. Bekah heard him crying and came into his room to find the lovely surprise we found as we entered - his diaper was un- snapped on one side. Add that to the explosive diarrhea and you have one heck of a mess. We told the kids what a mess he's been making. Bekah said, "I see what you mean!" After tag teaming the clean up, Joshua is still up and therefore I can't sleep.

Did I mention I LOVE to sleep? But I loved rocking my boy and singing him a few songs. He's now happily watching a movie. And the house is quiet. Maybe mornings aren't so bad? It's like I am on borrowed time. No guilt about what I am doing, I'd be asleep normally!

The Simpler Life

The simpler life. I like the sound of it – a simpler life – but can I really do it? Can I truly understand and live the life Keri Kent describes in her book “Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life”?

God has stripped away all the “extras” out of our life. I don’t mean just our house, our bank accounts, the extra rooms of furniture we once had. He has taken away our freedom to overfill our life, He’s turned our schedule over to Him, our control, our security and dependence on ourselves, etc. There has been nothing but survival for two and half years. I thought we were doing okay with scheduling pre Joshua. I like busy. When I am awake, I am on the go. Then I sleep (and for a long time, if allowed – rarely happens anymore, sigh.) Being in crisis mode takes away all the “non-important” (non-essential things).

The first few chapters of the book just made me angry. We don’t have the kids in three activities each, working crazy jobs, juggling car pools and volunteering at five places… we are SURVIVING. Barely making it to the grocery store – and only because one of my parents came over so I can run to the store. My days are filled with doctor appointments, therapy, driving the girls to school (most days late), filling feeding bags, going through hospital bills, scheduling more appointments, researching diagnosis, … SURVIVING. I felt like the people described in the book had decided to take on all the activities and were not making their relationship with God a priority. Okay, so I ‘m just going to sit and read my quiet time while Joshua turns blue and needs suctioning?? Of course that was not what the book was saying, it was about heart issues as well. Am I going to try to keep up with the Jones’ or carry the yoke that God has given me? It was about WHY we chose to over schedule our lives. Why we feel the need to have so many activities and be busy.

I like my house being picked up. It doesn’t have to be spotless clean, but definitely no dirty dishes (smelly!). I hate my car being a dropping ground for the kids’ things. I need some order in my life – for my sanity! I’m not trying to impress someone else or “just in case” someone comes by. Evaluating motives helps to determine if something should be a priority. When life is spinning out of control, I believe, it is okay to have certain areas to maintain some sanity and peace.

As Joshua’s sicknesses are more manageable, I decided to sign the girls up for swim team. I know, I know, what was I thinking? It stressed me out so much being required to be somewhere at a certain time, hours waiting for a heat, the crowds of people, etc. We weren’t ready for that yet, maybe never. More than twice I stressed over getting the girls to the pool instead of just enjoying the time at the doctors’ office. Our life is still a little unpredictable. I need to “breathe” – to be okay with the girls not being involved in certain activities and knowing that we have been called to a different road.

I enjoy my time in the morning reading my quiet time before the kids are up. Keri Kent quoted Thoreau – he said, “Your priorities are what you do.” I have always said having a quiet time was a priority, but I never set my alarm clock the night before. Not much of a priority I placed, eh?

Elizabeth was on a basketball team and one of the mom’s had quadruplets (or was it triplets?), any how, she said that each day she asks herself if she really listened to each of her children that day. Not just talked while she cooked dinner, barking orders, but really stopped, looked into their eyes and listened. There will always be dishes to be done. When I choose to wait until later and put my kids (or hubby) first I know my priorities are shining through.

I want to breathe and breathe deeply. I love the stories about people doing “good things” (church activities, etc.) and being overloaded. In my college days, I lead Disciple Now weekends. One of the quotes I picked up was “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” That always stuck with me as I frantically ran around doing all my “good things”.

I still have more to read, but so far, God has convicted me. It has helped me analyze my priorities and the motives behind those priorities. I’ve also found I am even reading slower, digesting it, letting it sink into my heart. I am a work in progress! Thank goodness God isn’t done with me yet!

(If anyone in Houston is interested, I have an extra copy – sweet Eric bought me one from our church bookstore not knowing I had already ordered one.)

To blog or not to blog...

To be or not to be a blogger.

"Everyone is doing it." - that logic never works on me. But just maybe there is a reason "everyone is doing it".

I am debating switching from carepage updates and starting a blog about our family life. It is a difficult decision. Carepages has been my therapy, my way to update about Joshua's medical journey and the challenges we have faced over the past two and half years. It has given me a connection to the "outside world" while we were many times not allowed out. Carepages hold our history - the joys, the struggles, each hospital stay, each test result, every new accomplishment, pictures, poems, heartfelt prayers, etc.

But our future is hopefully going away from daily medical struggles to "normal" (if there is such a thing) struggles. We move forward with a single focus in mind. I want to SHINE my light. In Matthew 5:16 it says, "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." NIV This verse has been one of many that have motivated my life. Given me purpose and direction. It has given me hope during dark days when I wanted to give up. It is something I can do: I can SHINE! Not on my own power. Luckily, the light in me is Jesus Christ! He shines brightly. I just have to allow the light to escape, or let it out, so to speak.

I have always wanted God to use me to share with others. I didn't know He would take me down a difficult road to learn some tough lessons. I'll see how this blogging thing feels for a while. In the meantime, I will still update on Joshua's carepage (www.carepages.com, carepage name: "JoshuaGrantOber" no spaces, case sensitive).

Let's see, I guess the next step is to figure out how to design this page. Hummmm.....

Shining, Olivia